Spring is always my favourite time of year with its promise of freshness, new life and hope. Having lived in the UK for 26 years and weathering the countless grey days, I see the season change as a time to take on a new look. I pack away my black boots and jacket for lighter and brighter clothing. The same goes for my home, and I believe it is also a great time to re-evaluate what is going in our relationships.
Here are 6 ways to clear stagnant energies and freshen your love life.
1. Clean up your home
Spring cleaning in its most literal sense can benefit the home environment. Let’s be honest when you live with others it can be difficult to keep the space free from clutter. If you are anything like me you may have got used to just hiding your stuff in the cupboard, thinking I will clear it out later, only later never comes and things accumulate. Physical clearing can clear head space and create a more peaceful loving home for your relationship to flourish. A change in look can also help get rid of any negative energy.
2. Assess what is working
Just like cleaning out your closet, the first step to spring cleaning your relationship is to assess what you want to keep or throw away. It’s a great time to evaluate what is working and what needs to change. If something keeps causing tension in your relationship, consider adopting a new strategy to overcome it! Reflect on any major issues that have been swept under the rug during the winter, and decide what you want instead.
3. Change your routine
A relationship is not made great by buying your partner an expensive gift or splashing out on a romantic meal once in a while. It is made great by the rituals you follow on a daily basis, are you making the most of the time you have together? Are you happy? Do you feel close? Are you showing each other affection?
If you feel that things have gone stale between you say so, and the two of you may be able to change your routines along with the season and create some new rituals.
4. Communicate to declutter
We may love the items in our closet, but they can still end up in messy piles shoved in dark corners until we clean them up! In the same way, our relationship can get ignored or put to one side when we do not communicate directly. As Mother Earth moves into this period of renewal and rebirth, now is an excellent time to clear the air, and move forward.
Solving things with a partner can be tricky, so getting support to communicate more effectively is key.
I often ask a trusted expert for relationship advice myself because it can be hard to remain objective or see things clearly when you are in the thick of it. Asking friends or family for advice can often over complicate things, as you either only get told what you want to hear or they start judging so you have something else to be frustrated about. It’s also not fair on your partner to bring the issues to light with people they interact with.
If it has been on your mind that the way you communicate is uncomfortable, couple therapy can be a good place to start. Not everyone needs it, but if you are thinking “I can’t be honest with him/her” or “we have lost our closeness” couple therapy is a safer place to do it. Especially if you work with the specialist to let go of resentment first. Many individuals think about couples therapy, very few do it and sadly some leave it too late. If you are having trouble, spring can be a great chance to follow through and ensure you turnaround your year and have a great summer.
5. Get or stay active physically and mentally
Lack of exercise has the potential to make us uncharacteristically unhappy. Research shows that the best form of anti-depressant is exercise. Motivating each other and staying healthy together is a great way to spring clean your body and relationship.
It’s also good for our brains to be active, many couples share with me that they have little or no engaging conversations. Burnt out by work or exhausted running after children many couples find they have nothing interesting to share. So, spring can be a great time to do something to stimulate your mind by learning something new, taking on a new hobby or simply watching interesting films and documentaries together.
6. Show love and appreciation
When you spring clean your closet, you probably look at your clothes (and shoes) and feel immensely grateful for all that you have. Do the same for your relationship, reflect on the good they bring into your life. In couple therapy one of the most common complaints I hear is husbands and wives who feel unappreciated or ignored. Take a moment today to tell your partner how much you love them!
Nicola Beer is a Marriage Transformation Specialist and Founder of the Save My Marriage Program - An Alternative to Marriage Counselling
www.savemymarriageprogram.com