We all know we cannot be perfect 100% of the time, we are told that we should except our mistakes and learn from them. Yet despite this many of us still hope to be the ‘perfect parent’, when maybe we should be excepting that there is no way to be a perfect parent but there are plenty of ways to be a good parent.
You might be using the same strategies that your parents used, or maybe you decided you wanted to be the polar opposite. Whatever your methods, if it is a case of ‘one word from you and your children do as they like’ then you need to change your parenting from a negative into a positive. Here are four simple parenting strategies that work.
You are in charge. You are not just taller than your children are - you are the adult they can look up to and feel safe with. Therefore, do not be a parent-wimp. If you are afraid or reluctant to take charge because you want your children to like you or because you do not think you are supposed to - think again. Children need to know there is a grown up at the helm - this makes them feel safeguarded and secure.
Say little. Many parents use far too many words and end up obfuscating the issue. Why spend five minutes asking questions such as, “Why did you feel the need to do that Michael?” or “How would you feel if your friend hit you?” and “You are supposed to play nicely with other children”, when a simple “No hitting!” will suffice. Cut down the number of words you use, be direct and make each word effective.
Do not be hurried. Not all parental decisions can or should be made in a hurry. You often need time to think about whether you want your son to ride his bike to the mall, a mile away or take the bus into town with his friends. Is he old enough? Is he responsible enough? Does he always wear his helmet? What is the traffic like? Do not be hurried and feel free to tell your son, “I’ll have to think about that”. This is a better option than being rushed into the wrong decision.
Expect the best. Your child is a work in progress. What is a quandary today may disappear all by itself tomorrow as your child grows and develops. For instance, the tantrum-throwing toddler becomes a pre-schooler who can ask for a toy instead of grabbing it. Do not complain about how endless your parenting problems seem or how dreadful your children are. Expect them to be good - you will be pleasantly surprised.
Looking for some ways to help your children grow into healthy and happy individuals? Read more >>