What kind of age gap are you thinking of leaving between your children? While two under twos can be challenging for most mums, it does not affect kids as much as you would think. Michael Grose, author of 'Why first borns rule the world', says a child's birth order has far more impact in the years to come. "The wider impact of a person's birth order is often underestimated," he says. "There's significant evidence to suggest that family position influences career paths and even our choice of lifetime partner."
The first-born - For a while, a first-born is an only child who gains undivided attention from parents and grandparents. It is easy to put too much pressure on first borns. "They are often burdened by high parental expectations particularly if they are boys," Michael says. Parents of first borns often need to loosen up and not put too much pressure on them. "Many eldests' place enough pressure on themselves to succeed, without parents adding another layer. First borns also crave parental approval, so need more encouragement than praise. Encouragement releases the pressure on first borns to please adults".
The competitive second - Second born children are often born into a competitive atmosphere, attempting to live up to the pressure created by the eldest. For your second child to flourish Michael advises celebrating their differences rather than making them fit the mould created by the first born. "Second-borns often adopt behaviours and characteristics that are the exact opposite of the first-born," he explains. "Often when a first-born is cooperative and pleasant, the second may be the trouble-maker. At least everyone knows he or she is around. Or if the eldest is the academic the second-born may be the sportsperson or excel in the arts."
Relaxed youngest - The youngest child has a favoured position in the family. Many have greater freedom than their older siblings do, as their parents tend to be less anxious about their development and provide them with more space and opportunity to go their own way. "As the youngest in a family of four I had far greater freedom than any of my siblings," Michael says. He adds that youngest children often easily find their true path in life. "Unburdened by the high expectations that many parents have for their eldest children, many youngest experience greater success than their siblings."