Living in Dubai we are spoilt for choice when it comes to picking a restaurant, shopping for a gift or getting flowers. Yet if this is all we focus on for Valentine’s, after a few days or weeks the day is often forgotten. So why not make this year a more memorable by making some new commitments to show your love more frequently and strengthen your relationship.
As it is fairly easy these days with internet dating to get into a relationship, but staying happy in a relationship is entirely different thing all together. The following three steps are designed to bring you closer and happier than ever before; this Valentine’s and beyond.
1. Commit to do more loving acts
As a marriage transformation specialist, I can tell you that no one ever strengthened their marriage by talking about or going over their problems. To increase connection and closeness it takes regular acts of love. Look at the list below and pick anything that you would like to do more of, to create more love in your relationship. Then make a commitment to yourself (and each other if you wish) on what you will do to grow your love and make your partner feel loved every day.
Make a habit and love stronger by:
- making them the first person you share good or bad news with
- giving them small thoughtful gifts they will appreciate
- greeting, kissing or cuddling them whenever they enter the house
- let them know they have your backing whatever they want to pursue
- show affection in some form every day
- keep a picture of your lover in your wallet, at work or on your phone
- make a commitment of regular date nights
- create more quality time together by turning your phone on silent when you are together
- show them they are important by making time to speak whenever they call
- talk more than about logistical or financial matters daily
- spend more time interacting with them than staring at a screen when your home
- when they need your help, give them it wholeheartedly
- give attention daily and ask each other how was your day was and really listen attentively
- plan a trip or activities for the year ahead
- regularly share what you appreciate about them most
- commit to making them smile once each day.
Do not wait for your partner to go first as Gandi said “Be the change you wish to see”.
2. Reminisce on your best times
A great thing to do on Valentine’s Day is to reflect on all the fun moments you have had and share what you are grateful for. This is a great way to increase closeness and love. Dr Gottman, author of “7 Principles For Making Marriage Work” and marriage counsellor in his 40 years spent working with couples, found that he was able to predict divorce by asking couples about their relationship history. He found that those who looked back on their early days fondly and remembered how positive they felt, how excited and happy they were, were more likely to be able to get through difficult times. On the flip side, couples who no longer could remember happy or positive moments were more likely to divorce. As they had erased the good which is needed to get through difficulty. So why not dig out old photos, talk about your best moments and the memories you cherish most? Then plan more of the same, set new goals to recreate more magic moments.
3. Share your dreams
The secret to a loving, lasting happy relationship is supporting one another to reach your dreams. Use Valentine’s Day as a time to share what you desire most out of life, what you dream of doing in the future and then set about supporting each other.
Nicola Beer is a marriage transformation specialist, best-selling author and has been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News Network, Huffington Post, Wall Street Select. She works with couples to save their marriage, increase their happiness and love. For more details, visit www.savemymarriageprogram.com.