1. Review your current situation
Take a close look at your life right now. Is this really the life you want to live? If not, what is missing, what needs changing? Review all aspects by thinking of all the different roles you play in your life (parent, partner, friend, employee, son/daughter) and the areas that are important to you: career, finances, relationships, personal growth, social life, and health. Rate each aspect on a scale from 0 - 10, with zero being the lowest and ten being the highest. Does the outcome look balanced or do you have a lot of bumps and jumps?
2. Decide where you want to be
Consider the ideal life you want to live. How is it compared to what you have now? Using the same areas you worked on above, plot in your ideal scores on a scale from 0 - 10. This will give you an illustration of where you are in each area and where you want to be.
3. How to get there
To achieve the life you have always wanted, start off by making a plan. How do you plan to get there? Once you have identified the areas that need attention in your life, consider what steps you have to take to gain the balance you want. Are there areas in your life where you are putting more effort than you’d like? Do you tend to carry work home with you and find yourself unable to disconnect even during the weekend? Consider what it is you can stop doing or change so this area does not consume so much of your time any more.
4. Understand happiness
If your goal in life is to be happy, then think again. Happiness is not a goal in itself; it is a state of being. You cannot wait for the perfect moment to start being happy. Happiness is the result of your thoughts and emotions. Being aware of your thoughts and emotions is the first step in learning to manage and eventually change your state of mind from a negative to a positive one.
5. Don’t be afraid of change
Once you have identified the changes you need to do to transform your life, you will have to set out to work towards achieving change. Change often makes one uncomfortable. Especially when challenges arise, we often give up instead of trying to pull through. Be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and see this change as an opportunity to be better.
6. Be dissatisfied
Don’t be afraid to be dissatisfied with what you have achieved so far in life. Being dissatisfied is a driving force for achieving more. It will drive you to achieve what you’ve always desired.
7. Change your thoughts
Do you ever catch yourself saying things like: “I can’t do this because…”, “That’s not possible!” or “I am never lucky”.
Limiting thoughts can influence everything you do and they certainly can prevent you from seeing opportunities, pursuing your dreams and sometimes discourage you completely from trying anything new. Even though such beliefs may sound reasonable and true, try to challenge them. Acknowledge that such thoughts are not necessarily facts, look for evidence that proves the opposite.
8. Understand what’s keeping you back
All people have dreams, however not everyone gets to achieve them. Fear is the main force that stops us from going after a goal, as it is a natural response to danger. We feel fear in order to protect ourselves from something that can be harmful to us. However, most fears we have in our adult lives are unfounded. As infants, we are born with only two kinds of fear: the fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Everything else is conditioned to us throughout our life.
9. It’s about the journey not the destination
Striving to achieve different goals and ambitions in life is a sign of dedication and commitment. However, you may often reach those goals only to find out that they are not as satisfying and as glorious as you initially thought. Though setting and achieving goals is important, do not forget to take a moment to look back and appreciate where you came from. Look at all the obstacles you had to overcome to get here, all the experience you gained on the way. It is the sum of these memories and experiences that make you who you are today.
10. Relationships
Relationships are often not on our to-do list as they are not urgent. However, working on them and maintaining them is important. Relationships help us satisfy a number of dependencies; these needs are companionship, affection and emotional support. Relationships whether with family, friends or a partner, help us live a more fulfilled life. Ensure you identify and prioritise the relationships that are important in your life, as they are an integral part of your happiness.
With thanks to Sophia Fromell, Ithaca Life.